Adult Blog

You’ve broken up with your ex.  A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back.  What relationship advice can help? Learning some more about these topics can help: Relationship Intelligence can help in lots of ways.

When breaking up, what happens for everyone is that our feelings of closeness and connection with our partner get replaced by emotions like anger or betrayal.  This is why we fight and break up.  It’s just what happens to couples the world over.

But then you started feeling regret.  After a day or a week or two you started to feel like you missed those feelings of closeness and connection.  The angry or hurt feelings started to get replaced by other feelings.  So lets look at this truth about feelings.  For the most part, intense feelings like anger do not last.  They change!

You know this from your own life.  You’ve been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn’t it?  You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren’t as mad.  That’s how emotions work.  They change.  Good ones, bad ones, they will shift.  This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to.  Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.

Now that you’ve broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand.  During the break up, you were mad or hurt.  Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return.  You’d like to give your relationship another chance.  This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions.  They change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

So how can you use something like Emotional Logic to help get back with your ex?  Simple.  You can help them to vent, to get those bad feelings “off their chest.”  Help them to get them out.  So, when you talk to them, ask how they are feeling about what you did or the break up.  Then try to be quiet and give them time to form up their emotions into words and “vent” them.  Listening is an important step in or to Getting your ex back.

Do not argue with them or try to explain yourself endlessly.  Let them do all the talking, you listen.  That way, you avoid more arguing.  Make them right, whatever they say, for just these few minutes.  After a short time of venting, your ex will often begin to let go of the charge they have about what happened.  Then, they can begin to start to feel better about you!

There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in “spilling” and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life.  Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can!

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to making up with your ex